Silence is Golden

I attended a Bana Gedera yesterday for the brother of a staff member and as is traditional the Buddhist Priest comes sharp at 7.30 and gives his bana for about 45minutes to an hour before he leaves, having been given a thank you in kind, and then the food is served for those present.

To a fault, the over 35s and the females were in one place listening to the Bana and the under 35’s mainly male, were outside the house, (the bana was being said in the living room) chattering away and as the night wore on got louder in their inter communication!

It was difficult to listen to what the Priest was saying with loud background chatter. This house did not have a loudspeaker for those outside to listen to the bana, so their chatter was audible. Usually a loudspeaker drowns out the chatter, so that those who want to listen can do so despite the noise, as the speaker system is loud.

In my opinion society does not discourage this behavior. In future when these young men get older we will inevitably have the chatter inside the bana room, leaving the priest no option but to castigate the flock who will in turn chase the priest away from the bana than the other way round.

This is an illustration as to the direction of our society. There is no commonsense as to right and wrong; what is duty and good behavior on behalf of the life of the person for whose bana we are attending, or towards his family who have sacrificed a lot to hold this event, as it is costly to feed 100 people, the kind of minimum gathering in a home for the 6^th day bana prior to the dana for the priests the following morning.

To this I should remind the readers of the inevitable mobile phone ring, which today is loud even for the SMS that people receive. They must have the decency to put these on silent or vibrate as it is very distracting for people at such events. They do not do it as society does not frown on it. The norms of society must change to discourage this practice.

For some unknown reason we seem to love unusual ring tones on mobile phones which are a further source of irritation, this when coupled with the insistence of people not to switch it off and answer all incoming calls leads to unnecessary annoyance to others and should be corrected.

Young need to organize themselves – if they do not wish interference

There is nothing that the young hate more than being told what to do by those older than themselves, especially when they cannot see the logic of that request. It is even more important that consideration is given to their feelings whenever they are tasked with assignments by others above their age group.

It is therefore best to gather a team of young people with the ability to organize and set a plan that they can implement, devoid of older interference. That way a youth idea or plan, executed by the youth is one that will provide them with a sense of achievement and also a sense of fulfillment of a job well done.

For youth to be independent they must have the tools to take control of their lives. There has to be leaders amongst their group who are able to organize, manage and fulfill all the expectations in order for people to feel that the task was properly executed. The youth need that attitude that they alone can and so they should be given the chance to prove they can achieve their given objectives.

We are organizing an important project, and we have given the youth the complete independence of managing it from start to finish. However as leadership is not something that comes naturally to our psyche, we have to guide them in taking control of the project by way of example and persuasion by instilling in them the confidence that they can take charge of the project without further help.

The poor level of education sometimes exasperates one from being able to explain that which is required as a skill, as most young people are of the mistaken opinion that they are sufficiently skilled to achieve ownership of a project. It is important that the adult supporter or sponsor is given a chance to show some of the pitfalls, so that they are not repeated due to the alliance of the youth groups to fight off mistaken impressions of what can be achieved.

Let us encourage entrepreneurship as well as the notion that failure is OK and is merely the path to ownership by way of experience in life. It will then stand the young person in good stead so that he may take the required chances in life to get from stage one to ten, within his venture. 

Nutrition – How to combat the perils of misinformation?

The most important fact that young people MUST be taught from school and parents is the art of healthy eating. It is not necessarily an expensive option, but nutrition is an important aspect of education that is overlooked.

It is important first as a young child to be given healthy food to eat. Few parents change their habits for their children, but it is an advisable option as young people must eat healthy food such as reed raw rice, as opposed to white polished rice that is the norm today, leading to a whole range of illnesses. On the same vein, eating leaves grown at home without the use of any pesticides is important as well as to eat less of sugar and more of locally grown indigenous legumes.

I do not believe in forcing anything down anyone, but I do believe an early start will make a lifetime of difference, as it is difficult to change your dietary habits later on in life, however much one accepts that one is not eating healthily. So the early parental involvement in this project not confined to youth but to much younger children is important.

At the youth stage young people are more aware of the rights and wrongs as so are able to understand the rationale which in early years is mere what the adults say as opposed to them being able to logically deduce the reasoning behind the admonishments to use less sugar.

As a country we are now at the risk of a series of non-communicable diseases. The worst of which are caused by alcohol, and cigarette and related cannabis and other ingestible drugs that youth are prone to partake in. It has now spread to the worrisome childhood diabetes that is brought about by too much starch consumption, especially of the refined varieties like flour, but more especially the sweet tooth Sri Lankans seem to be proud of.

Let it therefore be a telling lesson for kids that if they do not change their eating habits at a very early age to healthy food, they are more than likely to suffer badly with illness resulting from a bad diet and have to be on medication all their lives to control a situation which if they have been warned off earlier could have reduced their problem or eliminated it altogether. So parents and young people you have a joint effort at this. 

Reliability as part of discipline – an essential requirement

I was asked to help with find a job for a graduate applicant. He emailed me his CV and I told him there were many weaknesses there and asked him to update it. I am very busy finding it difficult to give one on one time to help these people and told him I will try and find some time help him correct it and also draft a cover letter for him once I was able to sit with him and find out exactly the type of job he is keen to get and suits him.

I gave him two opportunities to help him with his job find, and he did not take me up on it. How is one to help a person who does nothing to help his cause? There is no point asking for help, when the subject is missing.

This kind of unreliability is a hallmark of young people today. They seem to ask for the sun and do not even make an effort to understand that there must be a commitment on their part in the process of receiving assistance.

Schools certainly DO NOT teach the importance of keeping to a promise. Young people do not realize that to get anything there is a two way contract. There are so many jobs where the applicant has got the job, and then not turned up on the day for work. It makes a mockery of helping when they are not reliable, as it also affects the prospects of others who also seek help with employment.

Being reliable, and dependent are all part of a self discipline routine that young people must learn at an early age, so that they will be able in future to progress in anything they do. I fail to understand why this is such a problem in Sri Lanka, as I believe in other countries young people know what it takes to get and hold a job.

I do not believe a seminar or a workshop can infuse and induce youth to change direction, as it takes time. Parents are the first point of contact here and have to over a series of concerted effort over months if not years try and get this hardwired into the brains of their offspring, so that they can achieve their goals. With tuition being the only discipline and passing exams being the only requirement young people in Sri Lanka have lost sight of the priorities in life, it is these priorities that will make help an individual to excel in life and achieve their personal goals in good time.

The Relationship with parents – pertaining to matters of the heart

I cannot express more forcefully the importance, especially of girls who get taken in by the sweet talk that guys engage in especially at the start of a relationship. With Men from Mars and women from Venus, it is important to understand the psyche of the girl, which the young men seem to know. Time and again they get taken in by the pack of lies a young man tells the girl, so that he becomes her sole obsession.

Women are prone to invent stories about their suitor which is blown out of proportion from the initial idea put into their heads by the suitor. Within a few weeks she is hooked and nothing will stop her now.

It is then through some incident the parents find out, and all hell breaks loose. At that moment nine times out if ten, the girl is under age, that is under 18 and the boy is over 18. In fact though the girl is more mature than the guy in every way in the lying stakes it is the reverse, as boys learn the trick of lying to get the girl at a very early age, and perfect that practice to a fault so that their sweet talking ways hypnotize the girl.

It is only then that the parents realize that they have no relationship with their daughter in the affairs of the heart. By then it is too late!! The boys has already got it into her and the end result is the irreversible act.

This is therefore not just a warning to our young lasses to be wary of any guy wishing to pursue a friendship usually at the tuition classes the modus operandi being using the sms mode, but more especially to the parents to warn the child well in time before this happens to have her head on her shoulders and be prepared for the flattery, which is only that, to find the blind spot, first to hoodwink her to his way of storytelling which is all a pack of lies of the imagination.

The heart to heart with daughters of this matter is now important even at age 12 or 13 before they see boys for anything more than conners and rogues. They must realize that at the very least A levels are a minimum before they can get enmeshed in something they find hard to extricate from. It is too late when the affair is found out, when the father of the girl beats the hell out of the boy. The worst course of action, as the girl with feeling of guilt at her lover being wounded, takes the irrational decision to runaway with him, leaving the father and mother to rue the day, they were not able to simply explain the facts of life!!

Young people do not value time – except for the visionary few

In youth one of the indicators in Sri Lanka is the lack of appreciation that time is important. On the one hand the young person is running don’t know where don’t know for how long, but the young person does not realize how important time is as they feel time is on their side and they have plenty of time to get it done.

When people look at it that way I enlighten their minds about how William Pitt the younger was the Prime Minister of England at the age of 24. I see all these youth at 24 and they cannot live on their own let alone manage a job, education and life on their own.

Young people though exposed to new technology that has speeded their learning still seem far away from achieving their goals quickly. When I say that the majority of youth only graduate at the age of 25, when in many countries they graduate at 21, means they start with a 4 year handicap, enabling other graduates from overseas universities to overtake them in employment from day one. Remember that there is no minimum age to do the London A levels, whereas in Sri Lanka schools will try to delay you from sitting for them. If one is home schooled on the London A level syllabus one can even sit the A levels at age 16 and enter University at that age with no handicap graduating before 20.

Just think of the head start that the student has. There is some discussion of them not being mature, but I disagree as there are many in Sri Lanka who are still eating at home at the of 30 and who I would contend are more immature than the 16year old I referred to. That argument does not hold water.

I ask young people not to waste time, and do something useful earlier on, lest they will be left behind by younger more able people who nevertheless exist. I blame poor parenting for this, and therefore the young person must realize that they are part of this phenomenon and must take control of their lives and pursue their interests rather than wait for something to happen in their lives.

The importance of time and its passage cannot be overstressed. Only busy young people realize it, so try to occupy yourself all the time in something both interesting and useful at the same time. Fulfillment will result. 

It’s the lack of jobs stupid! – Or is it?

I am daily asked if I know of jobs for young people. There are thousands of people with different levels of skill who are looking for jobs. They have no idea what is available and how to get them. There is no proper channel other than asking friends and acquaintances if they know of any jobs. I cannot believe that in 2012 we are still trying to place people in the age old method of contacts!

It is important that we are able place people in employment by some kind of formal means whereby employers can find reliable people with the right qualifications without delay. In this day with all the technology at our disposal, if we are not able to find jobs that are already there and match skills with vacancies, what good is all the new technology?

Youth unemployment is the single most important issue for young people across the world, but more especially in Sri Lanka as we are about to face a crisis where our young people are turning to violence drugs and alcohol as a means to relieve their stresses of feeling inadequate without job prospects. This should not be allowed. We as a society owe it to them to do our utmost to get them on the right trajectory without delay. The younger you are the more productive you are. If you have the right education and now is when your brain function is at its highest, if you do not use it to the maximum you are only to blame for the mess.

My suggestion is a youth job bank to be set up by the youth for the youth. The adults are not going to do this out of the goodness of their hearts. They are only going to do it for themselves. I feel the job bank coordinators can make it pay as well as there is a huge amount of money involved in finding employment. We see that every day with the sums earned by overseas agents placing people in various overseas countries on a daily basis.

We must then be able to tell them as long as your information is correct and you are able to hold down a job, we CAN and we WILL find you a job. It is up to you to make the most of it. Do not concentrate on income at first, but on experience and being able to work with others. The rest will fall into place, when you know how to work. You can use that as the stepping stone to greater heights from that start.