The madness of youth, I have covered all their other ills so far

In the previous entries there have been a litany of some of the typical shortcomings when interacting with youth and which youth must be aware of in their dealings with others to achieve their goals.

One major annoyance that has not so far been referred to is the madness they appear to have. It is not one to send them to the asylum. It is their infectious ability to annoy which many perceive as mad as it is out of all senses, namely insane!!

Youth do not realize this trait, and perceive it as only something done for light entertainment, jest or to annoy something or someone they have taken a particular interest in so doing, for a rational or irrational reason.

These events constitute dangerous ground and usually when combined with liquor consumption leads to catastrophe that was not intended when the first burst of youthful exuberance abounded! To know one’s boundaries is important. Youth often are not equipped with the tools to decide between reasonable and unreasonable behavior. This aspect of life is gained by experience, which many are not privileged to receive due to lack of parenting or lack of peer groups with whom they can compare.

It leads to severe social problems, and many of our ills with regard to robbery and theft, even grievous bodily harm arise out of these social problems caused by the lack of adult interaction in early life to show them by way of example, the good and bad of life.

The area covered here is pretty extensive and includes behavior caused but not limited to substance abuse, alcoholism etc. which is another whole story by itself, but comes within the purview of the subject of maddening behavior.

These traits can be corrected without delay by including these troubled youth in programs that they see as being of use to them. They can then be guided by mentors who they can establish trust with and hopefully give up these traits and return to a sense of normalcy that does not directly harm any segment of population who come across them. In a sense it is important to focus on juvenile delinquency in society and to have an integrated method of tackling it with the support of the community. 

The age versus experience conundrum

Young people are in a hurry. They cannot see why others appear to slow them down, purposefully they say. It is part of the impatience of youth and the coolness that comes with age. While it is a gross generalization, mature people are calmer, less prone to histrionics and consider their next move carefully, where years of experience have taught them the art of patience and sometimes procrastination, which can work in their favor.

Under these circumstances young people want quick results, but are not willing to make the effort required to achieve them. They have the advantage of new technology, that has relieved them of much of the tedious work older people had to engage in during their growing years. So mobile phones internet, lap tops, spell check have all made communication much easier, removing barriers to engaging in conversation with total strangers in far flung places using different means

They do not think about the lack of experience of the ways of the world. They are unaware of how little they know about human psychology. It is usually learned through experience dealing with different types of personalities. This handicap cannot be explained until experienced.

The resulting chasm creates a gulf of understanding between generations, leading to difficult relationships with parents who do not see things the way their kids do and vice versa. It is this lack of communication that creates much discord leading to misunderstanding which is very evident in Sri Lankan Universities as far as dealing with the faculty and the Vice Chancellor are concerned. The latter are more concerned about law and order, and ensuring that classes are not disrupted. They do not want trouble makers destroying University property and common amenities, whilst the students’ goals and aims are different. They see a conspiracy to keep them subjugated, not educated. They perceive it is the fault of the politically appointed heads, bent on imposing their political masters’ ideology on students who are radically socialist, something that is common in varying degrees all across the Globe. This is borne out of idealism, which converts into realism with age and responsibility.

It is therefore important for youth to understand that there are differences and to accommodate them fairly and only give vent to feelings when injustice overcomes reasonable behavior.

The perceived threat to the established order of youth in politics

It is now a fact of life that young people expect representation in elected office, especially in local government. In that regard there are rules within political parties to reserve a certain number of places to young men and women who represent a proportion of the population and who wish to have their opinions represented in an elected body.

If a person is successful in politics and is seen to be performing, then he has no fear from usurpers. However the established order today is to get into politics for the wrong reasons, and any threat to that position is put down with a direct hit that intimidates the young person from pursuing as a challenger, usually within the same party!

This is a constant threat to the established order, in Sri Lanka, and youth have now made a habit of pushing the envelope and facing this threat head on, sometimes intimidating seniors within the party. A good organization is also a threat and often young pretenders have a better organized team they are able to galvanize with little in the way of teasers of goodies, being fleet of foot and intimidating both at the same time.

I think it is an excellent proposition. This keeps the seniors on their toes, and keeps them active, not just resting of their laurels. This generational confrontation is good and healthy in politics as fresh faces providing the new blood to old causes are an integral part of an evolving political culture that is dynamic and intimidating at the same time.

The reality is that there is no keen competition, but an attempt to distance youth, by not including them in the political activities, by deliberately ignoring their existence and not inviting them into the fold. This exclusion has benefitted many youth, to go into the hearts of the people, by connecting with the electorate on simple identifiable policies, that directly affect the constituency, and not some hard to identify ideological difference that does not connect directly with the voter.

A fresh face is always a breath of fresh air, and I will encourage genuine young people who wish to make a difference to get into politics to fight for your principles and provide an alternative to the established order, by giving a new angle to the old issues, with the possibility of a solution based on a new outlook, when old theories do not hold water.

The excitement of a spur of the moment decision

A characteristic of youth as compared with older people who have been around and done that! is that young people have an in built desire for instant gratification that involves very little planning. Older folks plan their lives. Often this is out of necessity with family commitments, responsibility, keeping up with the Jones’s and ‘bills’ to pay.

It is important that youth understand that they are fortunate to be spontaneous. Yesterday I was at an event, and all the young people towards the end of the party decided to go bowling. All of them piled up into whoevers vehicle they could squeeze into and off they went. Remember however it is the adults who gave them the dough to do so!!! The mums and the dads plied them with the 1000 rupee notes, which the young thought nothing of taking without a word of thanks!

I quote one example of a spur of the moment decision, to illustrate my point, unless the reader is not clear on the point I am trying to make. It is important at a young age to know these are moments to savor to enjoy and make the most of. They do not return time and time again, and the older one gets, the more focused one is, it is more difficult to be unpredictable in an exciting way.

The caveat to the spontaneity is the maturity to know one’s boundaries. I am not advocating binge drinking that many engage in just to be blind drunk, or to leap of a bridge or anicut in a place one is not familiar with and possibly break one’s neck. It is the adults who must give proportion to the behavior by explaining responsibility at an early age to take charge or ownership of the decisions that one makes.

The ability of convincing whoever you want to join you in your mad escapade is also a sign of leadership, one that takes tact and persuasion. This leadership must be encouraged by parents to develop organizational skills. That is why gamesmanship is such an important part of growing up. In society one has to interact with all manner of people, including the most disagreeable ones if one is to survive and get one’s way. Learning this interaction at an early stage is a huge advantage, which many of the private schools and some of the leading state schools are able to inculcate, and which is one reason parents go to such desperate lengths to enter their children into these establishments which have a proven record. 

How about telling the truth for a change

I have alluded to the fact that it is quite normal to tell a bunch of white lies when one is trying to show off especially to one of the opposite sex when it comes to trying to earn respect or a reply or a date. However I wish to elicit comments on the lies that are told in the job hunt as to what is in the CV and other half truths at interviews.

I just the other day caught out an applicant just plain lying and asked her why she needed to lie as it did not affect whether she got the position or not and that it would have been much better to come clean and come out with the truth. This fear that the truth will somehow implicate needs to change. The least one could do is not say anything rather than implicate oneself by lying.

This added problem of having to deal with lies is also intertwined with the reliability issue that I have referred to before. This is all part of the character of a person, which is very important when it comes to getting a job without favors, and on merit. It must also give the person a lot of confidence to land something on merit, so that no one can hint at having helped them on their way, as some are wont to rub it in rather too often.

 This habitual cultural trait of lying to preserve one’s status, and not wanting to let the side down or even in some cases lying so as not to offend someone who is trying to help, does not lend itself to confidence on the part of the employer or superior. It is very important that one stands by principle unflinchingly and proceeds to elaborate from there.

The young are constantly reminded that they must tell the truth when they go to their weekly Sunday school classes and that telling any lies does not bring them any merit. However they clearly forget that the moment they leave the Sunday school, negating whatever they learn in the first place.

The practice of lying is so entrenched that those who deal with this problem all the time, do not expect the truth to be told, being very philosophical about that. They then try to ascertain the truth by cross examination, and by other tried and tested means if they are intent on hiring someone, despite knowing that all the facts as presented have to be cross checked for accuracy before relying on them.

Initiatives, ideas, enthusiasm to create and to think outside of the box

The fault of the education system regarding the issues raised above, hold back youth from getting ahead and venturing into the unknown. It is this unknown that I wish to elaborate on here.

What is the unknown? It is a space that no one has gone to before. It is a risk that may or may not work, but will only be found out if you actually go there. Life without risks is not life. However excitement of the unknown must accompany the journey, as otherwise one cannot benefit from this space and make full use of it.

I encourage youth to venture into this space. Most of you already have the security of a home to go to when in need. You are not alone in the world. You are not tied up with family and financial responsibility. It is only during this window of opportunity that you can take up this space and make a go of it. You will then have no regrets in the future that you did not take the opportunity afforded, as it does not come again, as your life will move on to the next phase.

So let us define this word SPACE and go find it, indulge in it, live it, wallow in it and most of all, enjoy it to the fullest. It is fleeting moment for most of us in our life’s journey. Think of the space as the great unknown. This is the time to think of something new, an idea perhaps which as the subject above shows is made up of many parts.

The word ‘think outside of the box’ is the most important message here. That is the hardest to do due to the spoon fed education that most receive. Therefore you find it difficult to envisage life outside the constraints you have been set, or set for yourself. So the initial stage of getting outside that framework and exploring the unknown with a fresh outlook, without the baggage of the framework. Change is a crucial part of this thought process, because if you cannot accept change you cannot think outside the box! Embrace change, look forward to change and make a change. It is those who change that succeed and it is all about being fulfilled. That fulfillment differs from person to person and therefore it does not matter what you do, as long as you enjoy doing whatever you have chosen to do.

Grab the “SPACE” afforded to you. Take a chance, think outside the box, make change to your life and explore an idea, before it is too late.

Overcoming fear and gaining confidence – a path to survival

I interviewed a girl who came with her father, and insisted on being inside the room, while I was talking to her to ascertain her skills. She was a graduate of Arts with an external degree from Kelaniya University that she received in 2009 and has since not held any job!

I told her I will give a month’s rigorous training in office procedures and Sinhala and English typing so that at the end of it she will have the confidence to get any office job she chooses by giving her the confidence to turn up at an interview and convince the interviewer that she was worthy of being hired. It was the confidence that was lacking in her.

I asked her to start the job there and then and she preferred to come in the morning. She called the next day that she would not come. Why would someone throw out a chance in a life time to become employable? That is the billion rupee challenge facing Sri Lankan youth today.

It is this attitude that prevents young people from getting employment. They want to be spoon-fed into a job. They cannot choose one on their own. They need to hold the hand of a father or mother and not take decisions on their own. They are frightened of a challenging position and been given tasks and responsibilities. What is with our youth today?

If only one knows the common misconception amongst young people. Experience is of utmost importance in getting a suitable job, and any offer of experience be it paid or unpaid should be pounced on by a person as a chance to rise up the employment ladder. That concept is missing amongst youth.

It is this challenge that many in rural schools face. Little wonder that Bandula Gunawardene said that of 10,000 schools everyone wants to get into just 49 schools. That is because it is just those schools that give the students the confidence to face any challenge! All other schools fail even in that, let alone the basic education sans private tuition, which should be the aim of any school in the island if it is to achieve the minimum goal as an educational institution worthy of that name.

We MUST change the mindset of youngsters and put them through unpaid internships as a matter of course to get them used to holding a job